Long distance can test friendships, strengthen old bonds

For most students, the distance between college and home is enough to impact or even end years worth of friendship. However, as realistic and harsh that may be, it isn’t the case for everyone.

While it’s true that many college students stray away from hometown friends, there are others who overcome this stereotype no matter how difficult it may be — not because they feel forced, but because they know the friendship is too valuable to lose over a couple hundred or thousand miles.

“It took some time,” said Eduardo Castellanos, a junior and San Benito, Texas native who, after three years, remains close with his hometown friends. “It’s not something you can just do with anyone.”

Castellano admits that the beginning of his long distance friendship was the hardest. There were several awkward moments when it came to catching up. They would go months without messaging despite having made a group chat on Twitter. Yet, after confronting the lack of communication and fear of losing their bond, he claims that the distance actually made their friendship stronger.

Now, they make it a point to talk as much as they can about anything — feelings, failure, accomplishments, the future. When Castellano goes home, he tells his friends before hand so they can meet at the same Whataburger they went to throughout high school. It’s a nostalgic but sweet routine, one that takes them back to the way things were before having grown into the people they are now.

“It just brings back fun memories of how it used to be and how it is now,” Castellanos said. “It’s different, but it’s better.”

For Selma Gutierrez, another St. Edward’s junior, the experience is nearly similar but not quite.

While she may not have a collective friend group back home in Sante Fe, New Mexico, she holds dearly — and separately — the four people she’s known since kindergarten through high school.

“I instantly click with them,” said Gutierrez about her friends. “I can literally go months without talking to them, but once I hang out with them we talk like nothing ever changed or has been different between us.”

Still, as close as they each may be, Gutierrez wouldn’t call them her “best friends.” Even though she appreciates and supports her main friends, she claims that this on and off communication is what makes it difficult to stay updated with their lives. Unlike Castellano, who goes home on random weekends and holidays, Gutierrez only visits twice a year, making catching up even harder because she spends more time with family.

“It’s really cool to see the change, but at the same time it sucks because I feel so left out that I wish I never left,” she said.

While it’s always disappointing to fall out of tight friendships, the statement rings true: distance shows who your real friends are.

Like Gutierrez and Castellano, I, too, am glad to have kept my hometown friends. We may not text or call all the time, but I know that at the end of the day, it doesn’t change our relationship.

When you find the right people, it doesn’t take constant communication or frequent visits to keep the friendship going. What maintains a friendship is simply how much you care for and support one another — even as you’re meeting new people and expanding your horizons.