Christina Gaudio, an investigator and victimology instructor at Rosemont College who formerly worked in victim services in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, travels around the country educating, talking about and researching sexual assault and domestic violence. Here’s what she had to say about misconceptions, statistics, procedures, drugs and behavior surrounding sexual assault.

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity. 

What are some statistics about sexual assault you think people might not expect?

I think that the biggest one is that 90 percent of rapes occur with alcohol. That’s some form of alcohol involved. And I think that’s a very large statistic that most people do not know, and when they set back to think about it, it’s a pretty scary statistic.  

What’s the percentage of people who know their assailant beforehand?

Depending on the statistics you follow or the research that you do, it falls between 85 to 90 percent of the time, it’s somebody that you know that sexually assaults you. So it’s only about 10-15 percent that it’s that random stranger lurking in the bushes, or jumping down at you from a dark alley. I think that one’s always been the one that resonates with most people.

What is rape really about?

It’s about power and control. A lot of people immediately think it’s about sex, and what you wear, and how you turn somebody on, but it’s not. It’s about power and control. Someone has lost power and control in another part of their life, and they’re using rape or sexual assault on another person to get that power and control back in their life.

Does the [legal] definition of rape differ from state to state?

It can, but in the majority of states, the definition of rape is penetration. So it’s either orally, digitally, sodomy, vaginally: some type of penetration.

How many women and men will face sexual assault in their lifetime?

1 in 4 females will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. 1 in 6 males will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. But in life, if we’re talking about the cummulative, it’s 1 in 6 for females and 1 in 33 for males.

Can you tell me a little bit about the “cycle of violence” in domestic and relationship abuse?

If you’re talking about domestic violence, whether it’s dating violence or if it’s a husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, you’re always gonna have a cycle of violence.

Pretty much what that is is a circular thing that happens: there’s no end to it. It’s something that’s going to continue to go on unless someone removes themselves from it.

There’s stages. Some people will tell you it’s three stages, some people will tell you it’s four, but it’s always around the same thing. You always have the situation where there’s intimidation: you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, you don’t want to upset the person, you’re very conscious that every move that you make is something you have to be aware of. And then usually that sets somebody off, and there’s always the acute explosion, where there’s some kind of physical violence, sexual violence, something of that nature, and then you have the honeymoon phase.

At that point it’s “I’m so sorry, I love you, I’ll never do it again, let’s stay together for the kids,” and then a lot of times, that lasts for a while, and then you go back into the same cycle. This will continuously go on until someone removes themselves from it. But, it will also escalate the longer this goes on. It’s only going to get worse.

In your experience, how difficult have you seen that it is for a person to remove themselves from the cycle?

It’s a very difficult thing for someone to do. That’s one of the biggest aspects that people need to understand when they’re dealing with somebody who’s in a dating violence or domestic violence situation. There’s always the argument of why doesn’t she leave, why doesn’t he leave, and there are so many different reasons why someone doesn’t. The average woman will leave seven to nine times before she finally leaves for good.

A lot of that can be tied to financial reasons, it could be tied to the fact that they have kids, it could be tied to the fact that they truly believe that this person will change. That if they love them enough, they can change them. Or they’ve been beat down so badly by verbal and emotional abuse that they truly believe that nobody else will want them, and they have nowhere else to go. Or the big one is that they’re isolated to the point where they have no support network and don’t have anywhere or anyone to contact to go and see them.

What are some signs to look out for if you think someone you know has been sexually assaulted?

In dating violence and sexual assault, you’ll see a lot of the same kind of triggers. So if it’s someone you know well, there will be situations where if you go to try to hug them or touch them, they’ll shrink back, they’ll jump away, those kinds of things. You’ll see strange bruises that you’ve never seen before, and they have excuses for them. They all of a sudden don’t have time for you anymore. And not just in the “Oh, I’m a little busy today,” sense, you might go days or weeks without seeing them, especially if they’re a roommate because the person that they’re dating is trying to isolate them as much as possible.

If a student is sexually assaulted or feels threatened by somebody, what are some steps they can take for protection or restraint?

If someone comes to a student and tells them that they’ve been sexually assaulted, at that point, the biggest thing that someone could do, the very very first thing that someone could do is believe that person. Because if they don’t think that you believe them, they’re not going to continue to seek the help from anyone else that they could possibly need.

Number one is don’t judge, listen. Two, make sure that there’s a safe place for them, make sure they feel safe, that they are in a safe place. Three, provide them with options if you have them. Provide them with the resources if you know them. Make yourself familiar with them so that way you can provide this information to them. But don’t tell them what they should be doing. Don’t force the issue on them. Give them the options to make these decisions.

Now if you’re dealing with college campuses, encourage them, if they want to, to go to the police. Go to the campus police. If they don’t want to deal with it through the college campus and they just want to deal with it through the police, encourage them to go to the police. If they’ve been sexually assaulted, encourage them to go to the hospital to have a rape kit done. A lot of it is just letting them know that the options are there, and encouraging them to follow through with what would be best for them at that moment. And the biggest thing is asking them what they need, what can you do for them.

What’s the best way to react when someone tells you they’ve been sexually assaulted?

Someone has dealt with trauma. We’re dealing with dating violence, sexual assault, all different types of trauma just like that, they’re different types of trauma, so people are going through phases. Some people, when they’ve been sexually assaulted or face dating violence, they’re going to be in different forms of that trauma phase.

Some might be in denial, you know in the aspect of they may have told you yesterday that it happened, and the next day, they just want to make it go away and forget about it and say, no it didn’t happen, you just heard me wrong. Being understanding on your end is really important. Letting them go through the phases, understanding that they’re going to be angry, they’re going to be upset, there’s going to be points where they accept what’s going on, there’s going to be points where they’re so down that they can’t even face it. There’s going to be different levels of trauma. Understanding that as an individual who wants to help and assist, is one of the biggest things that you can do.

Do you know the estimate of people who choose not to report if they are sexually assaulted?

In this country, supposedly 68 percent of rapes are not reported. (RAINN)

Why do you think someone who has been sexually assaulted might choose not to report?

A lot of the main reasons people don’t report is that a lot of them are petrified, they’re afraid, a lot of times they’ve been threatened, the perpetrator’s threatened them, threatened their family, threatened all different types of things.

There’s the fear, there’s people feel ashamed that this happened to them and they feel like they let it happen to them, there’s the anger, there’s the fear that nobody’s going to believe them, and a lot of times there’s pride and ego, especially when we’re dealing with males, in the aspect of, “I can’t believe I let this happen to me, I’m a guy, how could this happen.” And also for men, you hear a lot of times if it’s a guy on guy attack, they don’t want people to think they’re gay.

A lot of times, people don’t think they’re going to be believed, they’re afraid the perpetrators going to come after them and hurt them, so many different reasons why people don’t report. 

So, St. Edward’s doesn’t have greek life, and students don’t seem to throw too many parties. For the most part, students rely on the bars and clubs at 6th street. What are some tips you can give to students who frequent the bar/club scene?  

One of the biggest things I always say to people is to remember the buddy system. You learned it in kindergarten; it still applies today. If you’re going to go out to these kinds of locations and places, go with somebody. The number one thing is don’t go alone. There’s two things a rapist needs: unobstructed time and isolation. You walking around alone is giving it to them. Have somebody with you, have a buddy, go out with a group of friends. Keep an eye on each other. I know some people call it the “mother hen syndrome,” but you know what, at the end of the day, you’re going to be really happy that you were able to get back safely.

Another thing: there’s a lot of bars, a lot of drinking. If you go to a bar, make sure you’re watching who’s getting your drink. Don’t order a drink, turn around and talk to your friends. Keep your eye on that drink at all times: when it’s being made, when it’s handed to you. At that point, I don’t care if it’s soda or alcohol, do not put it down. If you put it down, do not pick it back up. It can take somebody less than a few seconds to put a date rape drug in your drink and you would never know it was there.

If you go to a party, don’t drink the punch. You have no idea what’s inside of it. If someone offers to get you a drink, and they have to go in another room to get it for you, get it yourself. How many times do you hear that it’s somebody you know who will sexually assault you? “Oh yeah, I know that guy, he’s my friend getting a drink from me.” Go get it yourself. That way, you know where it came from and what’s in it. Those are some simple things.

Other things I tell people that, if you are going out to bars and parties, and at one point you have to separate from friends, two things you can do: one, set up a situation where everybody knows what’s going on, where you’re going to be, when you’re coming back. All the information so that if something goes wrong, you don’t show up, something can be done right away.

The other thing that I do personally, and I’ve done this for years, is that I work in a job where I’m alone all the time, and I have a code word set up with the important people in my life. That way, if I call them or they call me, and I say that certain thing, they know I’m in trouble and they know they need to start looking to get something done. These are simple things people can do to keep themselves safer.

What can you tell me about date rape drugs?

The majority of date rape drugs are poured into drinks. It can be alcohol, it can be soda, it can be juice, it can be water. A lot of people have that myth in their head that date rape drugs only work in alcohol and that’s not true at all.

Some of the most famous ones out there are Rohypnol (also known as roofies), Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate (or GHB), “Special K” or Ketamine. Unfortunately now, people are using Ambien as one as well, so there’s a lot of different ones being used, and the majority of times they’re usually crushed up because they’re pills, so they’re crushed up into a powder form and put into somebody’s drink. Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate is actually a liquid, though.

All these drugs are very powerful and take a very short amount of time to take effect, and usually what happens is a person appears extremely drunk, or extremely intoxicated, and a lot of times, they’ll lose consciousness. So, keep an eye on your friends. If you know your friend has only had one drink and they appear extremely intoxicated, it might be a sign that something was slipped to them and to get them to safety. Most of these drugs that I just told you about, they are odorless, colorless and tasteless. You are not going to know that they are in your drink.

If you’re drinking something and you notice you start feeling like this, does it happen so fast that you can’t do anything about it?

Usually people have about 10-15 minutes. A lot of times, it’s too late, or it’s a situation of, ‘Hey, I don’t feel right.’ Tell your friends. Your friends are probably going to notice it more than you’re going to notice it.

What does somebody who’s been drugged look like to everybody else?

They look like somebody who’s extremely intoxicated. They can be stumbling around, they may not have a lot of coordination, it might seem like they don’t understand everything you’re saying, they might be slurring their words, they’ll feel like they’re dizzy, they’re going to pass out, and they may say those things to you, like ‘hey, listen, I feel like I’m going to pass out, or ‘I feel like I’m really drunk.”

Is there any way to know if your drink has been messed with?

That’s been something that a lot of organizations are really trying to work a lot on. As of now, there’s so many things being tried, but one of the ones that’s really gotten a lot of fame is the nail polish called “Undercover Colors.” That one’s been the one that’s gotten a lot of notoriety, so if you put the nail polish on, and you stir your drink with it, the nail polish will change colors, and you’ll know there’s a date rape drug in your drink. But obviously it doesn’t work with every date rape drug, it’s not going to work with every situation.

What’s the process of getting a rape kit?

If somebody is sexually assaulted and they choose to go to a hospital, at that point, they would go in and meet with a sexual assault nurse examiner: they’re called “SANE’s.”

At that point, this individual is going to ask them to tell them everything that happened, they’re going to ask them to take off the clothes that they’re wearing and put them in a bag, and they’re gonna say, ‘Please give me every detail you can of the assault and what occurred,’ and they’re doing this because they need to be able to know where to look for every piece of forensic evidence that they can collect. Whether they need to scrape, photograph, use swabs on anything, that’s what they need to do.

After the person gives their entire detailed story, the nurse will then comb hair on their head, comb pubic hair, shine a blacklight on your skin to pick up any fluids or anything of that nature, take pictures of any bruises, scratches or anything of that nature, they’ll scrape under your fingernails, and then at that point they’ll usually do vaginal or of it’s sodomy they’ll do an anal exam where they’ll swab inside the vagina, swab inside the anus, or if it’s a male they’ll swab inside the penis.

A lot of times also, especially if it’s dealing with a woman, they will at that point offer them the option for antibiotics for STIs, and also emergency medical contraception if they would like it.

I’ve been in the room with survivors who have had rape kits that have been an hour and a half, and I’ve been in the rooms that have been four hours, it depends on every different assault, what has occurred, how much needs to be collected.They have to hold evidence for a year, and at that point, you have that time frame to decide whether or not you want to go forward with it.

When it comes to rape kits, people think you only have 12 to 24 hours to get it done, and that’s not true. You have up to five days to get a rape kit done. The longer you wait, you might have less evidence. But some people think, if they took a shower they can’t get a rape kit done, and no, that’s not true. You can still go and get a rape kit done. They’re not gonna probably have as much evidence as they would have, but there’s no reason that you can’t, especially if you have bruises or bites. And a lot of times, if you didn’t douche, there could be potential evidence in the vaginal area that was not washed away by a shower.

You mentioned a year that they can hold onto evidence. Does that tie into the statute of limitations?

They’re different. I know that the law enforcement, like police departments have to, by law, are required to hold rape kits for a year. From there, it depends on the police departments in different states. In the majority of states, the statute of limitations is seven years for sexual assault.

What do you think about the chances of false accusations and reporting?  

False accusations and false reporting are very low in this country. It’s just as low as any other major crime, and that’s what people don’t understand, they think it’s so high, especially since the Rolling Stone information came out, but it’s not. Depending on which statistics you look at, and which field research that’s been done, I think the highest I’ve ever seen is 8 percent, and the majority I see is between 2 and 5 percent.

During the time you’ve been a sexual assault advocate, what have you found to be some of the more common misconceptions surrounding sexual assault?

That men don’t get sexually assaulted. That it only happens to women.

People believe the majority of sexual assaults happen at night, but they happen just as much during the day. We’re just as alone and isolated during the day than we are at night, we just aren’t as afraid during the day, because we just have always been trained to look over our shoulder at night, but not during the day.

And I think some of the other big misconceptions are obviously that it’s somebody that you know that sexually assaults you. It’s not just a stranger lurking in the bushes. I think that can really shake people to their core.

The aspect of “it’s what you wear,” and that what you wear is going to affect whether or not you’re sexually assaulted; having been there in the hospital on many different occasions, it has never been the girl in the short skirt, it has never been that provocative outfit. It’s not about that.