LIPGLOSS: Halloween with your pumpkin

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LIPGLOSS is a weekly dating and humor blog. Check back every Thursday for anything from restaurant reviews to dating advice to eclectic lists.

There are so many couples costumes out there, but most of them suck. Ketchup and mustard? That’s original. Dracula and woman Dracula bites? So twentieth century. Another Superman/Superwoman duo? Bye.

If you’re going out for Halloween this year and happen to be dating someone who is willing to cooperate, try some of these costume ideas. You’ll look more relevant, creative, and generally more awesome.

Miley Cyrus and her wrecking ball – This is super obvious and will probably be overdone, but hear me out. The secret is in the execution. The person dressed up as the wrecking ball (just wear all gray or black) needs to swing back and forth continuously all night. The person dressed up as Miley (underwear and Doc Martens) will sit on the wrecking ball’s shoulders and more or less strangle their neck.

Believe me, this will set you apart from the legions of Miley costumes this year.

Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience, parts 1 and 2 – Alright. This one’s a little complicated, but it’s totally worth it. Basically, both of you need to dress up in tuxedos and somehow recreate those metal eye-doctor-vision-testing-contraptions that are on both album covers (pictured above). One needs to be spray-painted silver to correspond with the first album, and the other gold.

This is an ideal costume for anyone who has any connections to an eye doctor’s office, or is really good at cutting things out of cardboard.

Wendy Davis’s left and right feet – Both of you wear red and neon green and don’t sit down the entire night. An homage to her famous filibuster.

Plankton and Karen – For just the right dose of nostalgia. Spongebob/Patrick ensembles are overdone. Masquerading as the show’s villain and his sassy computer wife is a much fresher option.

For this, one of you just needs to dress in all drab green and make some antennae out of pipe cleaners and a headband. Don’t worry about Plankton’s single eye; people will get the idea. To make a Karen costume, just cut some holes in a big cardboard box and paint it to look like a TV screen with the iconic green squiggly line across it.

This costume is particularly effective if there is a large height difference between the two of you.

Each other – An idea pretty much as old as time, but still hilarious. The key is that you have to wear each other’s actual clothes, not just items you buy that look kind of similar to your significant other’s style. It makes all the difference.

Don Jon and Barbara Sugarman – One of you gets to wear big hoop earrings and all-over animal print, the other gets to carry around a laptop and watch naughty things all night. (If you don’t want to lug around a laptop, a magazine will do.)

It’s win-win!

Merfolk – I don’t know. Mermaids and mermen are majestic. Plus, seapunk is so in. Wear shiny pants/leggings of some sort and put some tasteful seashells in each other’s hair. Everyone at the party will be jealous of your seaworthy panache.