“It’s time to lose your mind and let the crazy out,” Ke$ha, popular glitter advocate, said in her most recent single, “Blow.” The song is basically about allowing your primal nature to break free (on the dance floor, of course), a sentiment that could explain Ke$ha’s own perverse attraction to a freakishly feral head piece, the SpiritHoods.

The headwear line SpiritHoods claims to be “a symbol of the bond and the connection we have to our primal and wild natures.” However, this primitive bond between furry cap and our spirit animal comes off ridiculously campy, like Furries without all the kinky connotations. SpiritHoods are characterized by hanging slabs of faux fur superbly cloistering your face like a hirsute bear trap. The hoods come in a variety of animals from “Night Owls” to “Grizzly Bears” to some wacky lump of frazzled lint called a “Nasty Rabbit,” so you can parade around town pretending to be almost any fearsome creature of the animal kingdom. But there is a cost to the lunacy, and I’m not even talking about the absurd price range ($59.99–$199.99).

Walk out of your room wearing one of these faux-fur head pieces and expect tragic looks of confusion, pity or childlike uneasiness. Maybe all three at once.

Therefore, take this as a blatant warning: if you see one of these bestial accessories cavorting towards you on the street, don’t panic. Instead, stop what you are doing, turn the other way and run before the predatory cap swallows you whole.

Lastly, don’t even worry about the poor sap whose already got the animal glued to their head for they are a lost cause — save yourself.

Ke$ha graced the cover of the tragically hip “Paper Magazine’s Music Issue” in the summer of 2010 wearing her own SpiritHoods, aptly titled “Wolf.” It’s going for $129 at spirithoods.com if you feel like the seemingly scalped canine would be a worthy companion for your wardrobe (you really shouldn’t). And if you’re looking for a positive view in this discussion, don’t look twice, for it’s difficult to uncover a pro to this SpiritHoods’ debacle when they’re basically one big hairy con.