Abuse is no accident: abusers need more than time to be accepted

The incident of abuse between Chris Brown and Rihanna occurred back in 2009.

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The incident of abuse between Chris Brown and Rihanna occurred back in 2009.

Chris Brown left a comment on Rihanna’s recent Instagram photos that were promoting her SavagexFenty fashion line and people weren’t happy about it. It’s been about 10 years since Brown was arrested for physically attacking Rihanna on the night of the Grammy’s. Why does he think coming back with a couple of flushed emojis is okay?

Brown is an abuser. We know that he was a physical abuser, but this probably went along with psychological and verbal abuse as most cases do. After everything Rihanna went through because of Brown, she picked herself right back up and became the strong, phenomenal woman she is today. Since then, Rihanna has released five studio albums, a makeup line, a lingerie line, and a clothing line.

While there are many people attacking Brown for his “thirsty” comments, there are still many others saying that he doesn’t deserve all of the backlash. Certain people believe that what he did was a mistake and that he’s grown over the past couple of years, but what he did should never be reduced to only a mistake.

A mistake is keeping the oven on while going to the mall for three hours or forgetting to turn in a homework assignment. A mistake isn’t beating someone to the point of hospitalization. That is a decision Brown made and he deserves to live with the consequences.

Reducing abuse to a “mistake” is why abusers continue to abuse, because they don’t understand the gravity of what they have done. Brown commented on Rihanna’s photos without a second thought because he doesn’t believe that what he did was wrong or that it has had a lasting impact.

Not only do his actions directly affect Rihanna, they also affect women everywhere who have undergone similar abuse. Seeing and reading through Brown’s and his supporters’ comments is incredibly disheartening and makes victims feel like what they went through wasn’t as bad as it actually was. While forgiveness aids some people’s healing, it is not required in the process. Rihanna and her supporters don’t owe  Brown anything, and don’t need to let what he did go. I actually believe that they shouldn’t.

While Brown’s comments sparked controversy, Rihanna showed off her growth by handling the situation in an extremely well-mannered way and not directly responding. She did post an Instagram story with a Bible verse that references not going backwards in life. Was this in response to Brown’s comments? Or just something that Rihanna strongly believes in?

We can’t be sure, but the message she shared is incredibly important for victims, including herself, to remember. Whether or not it was intentional, she let Brown know that she couldn’t and wouldn’t fall back into old habits because she now knows how unhealthy they are. Rihanna has again reminded women of their worth and how to handle situations like this one. She truly is a role model for women everywhere.