Popular app ripped away from app stores, users have withdrawals

Flappy Bird

Flappy Bird

Staff Writer

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More than 190 species of birds have become extinct since 1500, according to Princeton University. The most recent name to join the ranks — resting in front of the Guadalupe Storm Petrel and behind the Elephant Bird — is Flappy Bird, a very popular and addictive smartphone game.

The World Wildlife Fund’s awareness vigils held no weight with the great creator. Showing no mercy, the master designer took Flappy Bird away from us — some say prematurely. As thousands mourn with their iPhones casting a somber glow, many are reminded not to cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened.

Flappy Bird creator, 28-year-old Nguyen Ha Dong, is still making $30,000 a day, but I’m sure he’s lamenting deep down…really, really deep down. A distressed Redditer supported these claims. In reply to the inquiry “Why is he taking it down?” one relating soul spoke up with: “He probably can’t pass the second pipe either.”

Dong stated that “Flappy Bird…happened to become an addictive product. I think it has become a problem.” According to Alcoholics Anonymous, this admittance of one’s addiction is the first step. Dong, acting like the most iron-fisted AA sponsor ever, did the most rational thing he could think to do. “To solve that problem, it’s best to take down Flappy Bird.”

What Dong, never an alcoholic himself, could not have anticipated was that restriction breeds want. The Flappy Bird prohibition has begun a new era of bootflapping. The chirpeasies have overrun Google with advertisements of online Flappy Bird and rip-offs of Flappy Bird have been cited on the app store.

While just a few weeks ago Flappy Bird reigned supreme as the no. 1 free app, Flying Cyrus is now on top. Flying Cyrus is Flappy Bird, but with the head of Miley Cyrus. Dong, instead of giving users a fresh start to a life, has sent us into a withdrawal only stifled by a button smashing game with Hannah Montana.

Maybe we should stop being so selfish. Such an altruistic act on Dong’s part must have been devastating. According to Chocolate Lab Apps, Dong indicated that he created the game in two to three days and says he spent no time or money on promotion of the game. Sure, Dong acknowledged “I can call ‘Flappy Bird’…a success of mine,” but what did he have to sacrifice? “It…ruins my simple life.”

What would you do if your simple life was ruined because you became a millionaire and everyone knew your name? You wouldn’t be able to read a book because your handmaiden would insist on reading it for you. You’d never be able to just eat those questionable Pop Tarts because Jeeves would let you know dinner was served. The horrors.

Let’s take a moment to salute Nguyen Ha Dong. I mean, aside from the art and sound effects which mirror Super Mario Bros almost directly and the bird design from 2011’s Piou Piou, Dong is a revolutionary hero. The Flappy Bird reign may be over, but revolutions don’t die so easily. To those of you who were left without jumping on the Flappy Bird bandwagon, I give you this advice: Just wing it.

Follow me on Twitter @KatanaKatona