Column As I See ‘Em: My mom is better than me at Fantasy Football


For the past three years, this woman has tormented me.

Sports Co-Editor

Column as I see ‘Em is your weekly fix for all things NFL.

Often mistaken for my grandma, my mom is a grey-haired hospice nurse who loves pugs, horses and goes to acupuncture for back pain. She’s also kicked the butt of every other member of my family and our unlucky plus-one in fantasy football for the last three years.

This year was no different. Lambeau Liz Green has a 10-2 record and her chat box is abuzz from Saturday until it eventually dies down Tuesday when the inevitable addition to your loss column is posted, regardless of how much smack has been talked. I’m the commissioner with a 4-8 record.

Let me be clear: our league is compromised of five men, all of whom played varsity football in high school and some even in college. All are hardcore fans of both professional and collegiate teams, and we all know the ins and the outs of the sport. My mom, although incredibly athletic, does not follow football that often, usually avoiding whichever room my dad inhabits on days the Michigan Wolverines or Detroit Lions are playing on TV. However, she has become increasingly unstoppable over the past few years. A fantasy football juggernaut, if you will.

Fantasy football, when played successfully, is a game dependent on keeping track of players on a week-to-week basis, predicting their performance as they play through their schedule. Adding and dropping players is a daily task for those dedicated to winning.

My mom knows something.

I do not know how she does, but every week she has added an obscure player who ends up scoring 20 points or more, usually. She knew who Doug Martin was before SportsCenter did. There have been games where her bench could have beat all the starters of her opponents.

Do you realize how demeaning that is? How am I supposed to succeed in life when my own mom beats me at fantasy football? For three years in a row? Last year, her team name was Reigning Queen.

Not this year. Since our league is so small, all six teams make the playoffs and I am prepping my lineup for optimal play over the next few weeks and the smacktalk lined up for when I finally beat my mom in fantasy football.