Bird film terrifies, confuses

To the untrained eye, “Birdemic: Shock and Terror,” written and directed by James Nguyen, may look like a simple rip-off of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds,” but on closer inspection, it really is so much more—or less, I am not really sure.

The film opens with the story of Rod, played by Alan Bagh, a software salesman, who begins dating the beautiful fashion model, Nathalie played by Whitney Moore. Things proceed swimmingly for the couple; Rod opens his own software business and Nathalie gets a job as a Victoria Secret model.

Their idyllic life does not last long, however. Shortly after spending a night together in a trashy motel, the couple emerges to find that the town is under siege from monstrous eagles and vultures who spit acid before plummeting to the ground and bursting into flames, for some reason.

The pair join up with an ex-marine portrayed by actor Adam Sessa and his girlfriend, played by Catherine Batcha, as well as two children, actors Janae Caster and Colton Osborne, whose parents were killed by the birds. They travel from town to town, battling birds along the way, hoping to find a way to survive the birds.

“Birdemic” is possibly one of the worst films ever made. The actors are probably very nice people, but they are people whose lives could be better spent as employees at the DMV—they have got the dry, emotionless interaction down pat.

Beyond that, though, the birds are the best part of this movie. They are reminiscent of the CGI Martians from Tim Burton’s “Mars Attacks,” but lower quality, the difference being that Mars Attacks came out in 1996, and Birdemic came out in 2008.

The “science” that is giving the birds the power to spit acid and explode on impact with the earth also apparently gives them the power to ignore the laws of physics, regularly turning 360 degrees while remaining in place.

The story of the birds is a nice attempt, but raises more questions than it answers.

Apparently they only target gas stations and cars and their condition is the result of global warming. Maybe Nguyen is trying to give some kind of ecological warning, but it is really lost in the mess that is this film.

There is a moment of hilarity that any savvy movie-watcher will enjoy: in the promotion for the film, they bragged that it contained a cameo by Tippi Hedren, who is best known as one of the stars of Hitchcock’s “The Birds” as well as the title role in “Marnie.” Turns out her “cameo” is just archival footage from one of Nguyen’s earlier films, which is played on the TV in the background of one of the scenes—if you are not careful, you will miss this gem.

This is one of those films where the story could take two directions. Perhaps Nguyen is actually a genius who carefully crafted this campy, hideous mess to create the perfectly awful film. Or perhaps Nguyen had no idea what he was doing and this was the best he could put together.

Either way, “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” is one of the best worst films produced in the last decade, perfect for anyone who enjoys trashy films.