Man or machine: Here’s how Romney could save the GOP, US from Trump


Only Mitt Romney can save the Republican Party from Donald Trump.

There’s been an awakening inside the Republican Party that is rearing its blonde toupee at America. 

It calls people stupid. Tells people they’re fired. And let’s not forget about how rich it is.

That monster is GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, and there’s only one thing that can stop him: Mitt Romney.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Has this guy lost his mind? Suggesting Romney can save the Republican Party? What a loser.” Then you’re probably Trump.

Yes, Romney lost in 2012, but the man who ran in the last election was not the real Romney. 

The real Romney is the man that was shown in the Netflix documentary “Mitt.” He was portrayed as a man with some quirks, but it made him seem like he could live next door to you. 

It made Romney seem like a human being, instead of the robot that President Barack Obama defeated.

Robot-Romney was a loser. Human-Romney could be a winner.

So listen here, Mitt, to get back in the race for president you’ll need to do several things.

First, make the GOP want you. 

Make the party endure through the pain of having Trump on newspaper front pages, televisions and social media every hour of every day. He’s guaranteed to say a stupid thing everyday that will make the party yearn for the days of Romney.

Now Trump’s support seems to be solidifying, but soon enough Americans will get bored and change the channel. This is your opportunity to strike.

When Americans are bored of Trump and the party leaders are almost out of hair to pull, announce you’re running for president. 

There might be some backlash, but if Jeb Bush can run relatively unscathed because of his last name then you’re fine.

Next, let loose. Don’t be a stiff suit, again. In fact ditch the suit unless you’re at a debate. 

Show America the real Romney. The one who picks up trash from a parking lot. The one who uses an iron on clothes he’s currently wearing. The one who’s actually funny. That is the man who can win the hearts of voters. You may not be able to drink a beer or have a cup of coffee with voters, but you can at least connect at that intimate level. 

Mitt, my next suggestion is going to be hard to swallow but hear me out: embrace all of your accomplishments as governor of Massachusetts and as a businessman. Yes that includes health care.

If Trump has shown the country anything it’s that, if packaged correctly, Republicans will go against their party on anything. 

For example, Trump’s tax plan. He wants to cut taxes for the middle class — sounds like a typical Republican — and raise taxes on the wealthy. Wait what?

Trump is somehow simultaneously Ronald Reagan and Elizabeth Warren and his supporters are eating it up. In other words, don’t be afraid of running as a moderate. 

Pledge to work with Democrats to fix parts of Obamacare. Don’t make social issues a big deal; it’ll only distract from the Romney 2016 campaign.

While your at it steal Trump’s tax plan. It’ll nullify your one percent status and take a talking point away from the Democrats. No longer will you be a defender of the rich, instead you’ll be seen as understanding America has changed and so has the GOP’s base.

Winning the general election can be easy or difficult depending on who the Democrats pick for their nominee.

Let’s say somehow socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders stumbles to the nomination, that’s an easy election. This is when you can break out all of the socialist rhetoric from the past eight years that was used against Obama. Only this time it’ll be true.

With Sanders as the nominee, the Democrats would look like the crazy party — which has been their talking point about the GOP for the past few years — and most Republicans will look sane.

Now, Mitt, if you really want to win in a landslide against Sanders, which is already an easy feat, go big and bold with your vice presidential pick. 

There would be millions of angry Hillary Clinton supporters if Sanders wins the nomination. Use that anger against Sanders and pick a moderate Democrat for VP. My suggestion would be Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand.

Of course a unity ticket may not please the party so a moderate Republican would be a good traditional choice too. Tap Sen. Kelly Ayotte if going traditional.

Facing Clinton is the hard general election. Going up against her you’ll need a woman on the ticket. Perhaps South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley would make a good pick.

While she may be very strong, Clinton can still be defeated in a general election by a good moderate Republican. 

Focus on the groups that Obama won in 2012 and narrow the gap. Winning those groups is not necessary. You just have to lose by a lot less than last time. So get out there and mingle with them, but don’t bring a binder.

Don’t expect a landslide against Clinton; expect a very close election that could go either way.

So what are you waiting for Mitt? Get a new logo, slogan and team and whip the Republican Party into shape.